What the church sold my vagina

Last night's clouds were like spawning sock-eyes (red), which meant a dry day to follow. "Red sky at night, sailor's delight. Red sky in morning, sailors take warning." The weather forecast also predicted a weekend of sun I've been craving.
          So naturally I would plan a morning of Saturday sale-ing, the garage version. I would find a wheel barrow and a bean pole. Maybe some other trash-to-treasures. Ha! I slept in. My big morning became a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, one garage sale stop on the way to running errands.
          Between my house and first destination, there were two sales. I skipped the first at an apartment building  and opted for the next corner where there was a church sale. "Hi" I said to the nice ladies running the show and started the polite walk-by to scan merchandise. For a seasoned saler the walk has its heuristics to assess the seller's belongings for value. To include you in the appraisal I've categorized the sales into categories:
          1. Traditional Sale: baby clothes, puzzles, happy meal toys, books and first-generation appliances. It is advertised in the newspaper and well-marked with signs.
          2. Type-casted Sale: the personality of a few items can usually determine the character of the rest. Eg. hardware or scrap fabric.One buyer who has a similar personality to the seller could buy it all, or scorn it for being over-priced.
          3. Black Jack Sale: it takes time to read whether or not a sale is hot. The best salers can weed out most on a drive-by but they know their best luck comes from taking the gamble. They go where things aren't promoting themselves to be bought, deeper into the garage, bamn! that's the money.
          4. Address Sale: "Park the car this garage is attached to a mansion!" or "Keep driving this street is getting rid of everything I already have." People shop neighborhoods in this case and early birds know where the worms usually are.

Vagina Bench Press.

          I thought the church sale was an address sale, maybe even type-casted. I expected lots of stuff especially Christmas lights and angel figurines. Surprise to my vagina--it was a Black Jack and there on a table boxed up without flare was a Super Kegel. $1.00.

 Oh nice church ladies, you go girls!

I lifted the top of the box expecting a used dilator but found what looks like an enlarged, blue gravy boat, still packaged and awkward to boot. I'll give a vagina report on the use later. Until then here's to, "Red sky at night, saler's delight!"

*Kegels (pronounced, kay-gills) are a type of exercise designed to work the pubococcygeal or PC muscles. The PC muscles cover most of the genital region from the pubic bone to the anus, like pelvic flooring. It plays a major role in the structure and power of the sexual center for the following benefits: (1) prevention of urge and stress urination—or peeing unwantedly; (2) aid in bowel control; (3) more comfortable pregnancy, labor, delivery, and recovery; (4) increased pleasurable sensations; (5) improved circulation through the groin, consequently bringing more lubrication to the surface; and (6) more genital control.