Can we get an app for this?

I made a list of what I want to track in my vagina tales. It comes from years of playing Excel-spreadsheet in my head. Ideally someone, like a more capable version of me, would design a SmartPhone App for vagina logging (that's an awkward visual) and I'd get a fancy phone to track every time I urinate. Until then I'll note the intent and work on the organization at a later date.
Variables: what I wear (underwear, bra, clothes, material/fibers, laundered, jewelry, make-up, product), hygiene (shower, soap, shave, floss?), diet, hydration, exercise, sexual activity, environmental factors, stress, irritability, hormones, pH level, birth control, type of toilet paper, amount of sleep, attitude, self-care, desire, description of urine and feces, my tongue, vaginal smell, feel, lubrication, discharge. Any other variables for consideration are welcome suggestions.
I want to catch a shower and cuddle so I'll make my notes brief: I have been peeing often, but drinking more too hoping the hydration will kick the fissures like eczema; I ate strawberry-rhubarb pie with half the sugar in the recipe; I went out for sushi with friends--white rice; I ate a banana and mint chocolate chip ice cream with milk, meat pizza for lunch, one slice, and a macaroon. Clearly, an invitation for a yeast invasion. I've been Kegeling to get the blood flowing and promote sex drive but still the toilet paper shows papercut. I wore comfy undies but tight blue jeans. Sweatshirt on top, the weather has not been sun-filled. My posture is slumped. I slept til' 10 AM. I accomplished more than planned and took the following action steps:
Southern style sausage, cooked and in belly; broccoli crowns for tomorrow with an explanation, pH strips, and baking soda. All will be revealed. Thank goodness for kissing.