Toilet Paper Treaty

I live with TimV and a young woman, age 19. They don't care what they wipe their asses with. I do. So, a while back with my baking soda purchase I bought myself this body-friendly tp. They used it all up and quickly. Flush that! I drove to the health store and bought 12 new rolls. Then I drove to another store and they bought other, whatever-is-cheapest rolls. Then I drove to the hardware store and bought a toilet paper holder. "This is mine!" I raised up my silver-coated jumble of bars and springs. The housemates ughed but I cared not. "My vagina is getting what it wants!" I finished. Now there will be two toilet paper rolls attached to the wall in the bathroom, one that holds "100% recycled sources made from at least 80% post-consumer content, with clean and green processes that are safe for people and contribute to a sustainable environment." Plus, "exceptionally soft, economical, hypoallergenic, whitened without chlorine bleach, no dyes or fragrances." Yes!