How the credit report helped her vagina

June 1, 2011 Client. Client. AnnualCreditReport.com. It was my to-do list for this simple Wednesday. Sure, in addition to counseling people on their sexual health issues and checking out my credit status, I had a stock-pile of errands but I wasn't about to put them on paper and have something staring at me free from the bar of accomplishment that I like to strike through my duties. Plus, the simplicity of my schedule manipulated me to make no mistakes. I came home responsibly and logged onto the government-funded free site. June 1st would be TransUnion. October one, Equifax and February one would bring my use of free check-ins on the ol' credit to a year with Experian. Brilliant. (Thank you site on finances in your 20s that recommended this action step). I'm scrolling through cards I didn't realize existed, Maurice's?, and notice a long history of this official system documenting me and my financial practices.
          While sitting on my putukus and debating the meaning of these stats, I recalled my need to Google "fissures"--the damn papercut-like tears that can occur around the vulva, perineum, and anus. I have them presently. It is inhibiting my sex life and I won't have it any longer. So, CTRL T, a new tab opens to fissures and a thread of desperate female voices. The feed stresses how thankful they are to read others' experiences, what their doctors have tried, and what had been ruled out. Then most people concluded with short lists of stats. For example: 

Happily married 9 years

2 children
no other partners, truly.
42 years old
stressful job - small business owner 

What were my experiences? What were the medical and psychological efforts to relieve my vaginal ailments? Where was the damn log that I have wanted to make for the last decade, plotting each day like Kinsey's search for gull wasps, to understand the raging sounds of my second mouth? How could I truly get my body if I was guessing at variables via internet search-engines and weak recollection of what I'd eaten, worn and sexed.

            My credit report clearly organized account information, those that were adverse and others that were satisfactory. It showed regular inquiries and special messages, when I opened cards and how I had paid them over time. I will check my report again in October. I will log my vagina's world, as diligently as possible, daily. Beginning now.